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I remember once a murder

I remember once a murder

Had made its way to me,

Swarmed about and chanted

"Long live, long live the queen!"

From down here I'd thought it clear

The world it could not see

That I am queen, but these ones knew

How long my reign would be:


How vast, and to which sunrise 

My power it would reach;

How fast, and to each mountainside

All man would cheer for me.

A golden, or a silver crown laced

With bloody, purple gems

Would grace my head, so it was said

If I had the courage to lay dead 

My love, my love for thee.


Refuse at first, did I.

How could anyone surrender 

A love, the likes of which had never

Been seen in stars above--

A love that had saved me, I reminded myself again,

A love that did not stifle me

Or force me to pretend?


For thirty nights and thirty days

The murder at my doorstep stayed.

For thirty nights and thirty days

I ignored, successfully, the ego boost,

The toying cries, and the voice inside of me.

Then-- thirty-one. An extra morning,

A final midnight.

A story from my younger days played out in front of me---


The murder swirled and coalesced into a monstrous thing:

A great white dragon made of ice, I swear I saw this thing!

To a little girl I was returned and looking up, remembered.

I remembered I had let it melt and suffered through the spring. 


Happy I was, and happy I remained, 

But something in the air now and then proved too warm for my veins.

You had never pushed, never prodded, never pried,

And please know that I loved, I love you still, those words were never lied.

But now my friend returns, though I had thought it dead,

Assumed it sacrificed itself for me and that it had known best.


But happier I'll never be than in the mountains far.

And lovelier I'll never be than in the ice and snow.

So know, my love, I never meant to leave this nasty scar,

But fly must I to my wintry home,

For our true natures, no matter who we love, can never be suppressed; 

They will arise.

This is something we tend to forget. 

-Alison Belle Bews (2017)

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